In regards to the UCONN women breaking the consecutive game streak...

"I don’t watch twat ball and even if it’s historic twat ball, I don’t give a shit"

"I don’t know if there is anything I hate more than dealing with the deaf chick at Safeway when I’m trying to get a freakin’ sandwich!!!!! Why the hell is she working back there!?!? And if she’s going to work back there, give me a stupid piece of paper that I can write my sandwich order on!"

In regards to The Sing Off...

"Is there anyone that wouldn't smack the shit out of the bitch in the middle"

"The old black guys go hang out with tards! Fucking awesome!"

"Tards copying them doing the beat box...Fantastic"